The industry has earned itself a sordid reputation when it comes to womenfolk. If it’s not Duke Nukem gleefully punching tits in the name of saving planet Earth it’s voyeuristic cameras and token lady soldiers attired in breast, ass and vagina armour, but nothing else. Protect what’s important I guess.
So it’s nice to see Korean title Born to Fire eschewing these unscrupulous cliches in favour of a more honourable portrayal of females.
LOL. Born to Fire is a class based first person shooter featuring the following: Woman, Mentally Challenged Brute, Cowboy, Coward and Grey-Haired Six Year Old. Naturally Woman takes the role of nurse and comes loaded with independently giggling breasts (presumably so soldiers have something to look at while they’re being patched up) and sassy one-liners like: “that ruined my make up”. Grey Haired Six Year Old (1:17, is that you Bieber?) is the token assault class, Mentally Challenged Brute, weighing in at 900,000 pounds, brandishes a shotgun, the Coward is the sniper and the Cowboy boasts an LMG while perpetually smoking a cigar, because that’s what you do in war.
So we’re not exactly dealing with a quick-witted nor creative game here. But it gets better yet. Having watched our gallant American heroes purge a grey town of its rebellious inhabitants they calmly await evac and somebody on the dev team has been watching far too much Black Hawk Down because no rational helicopter pilot is going to casually drop into a neighbourhood where every man and his daughter owns a crate of Tesco Value RPGs.
Regardless, the helo drops down from the sky to bailout our valent buddies and low and behold, the whirlybird takes an RPG to the metallic face. But wait, it gets even better! Our heroes, lined up nonchalantly in the street as if this isn’t a war zone, observe this clusterfuck unfold before them. As rocket propelled grenade greets helicopter Little Miss Tits has only this to say: “Crap! What’s happening?”
That’s the sound of me dying inside.
Good guys tend to adhere to the rule of proportionality. It helps us relate to them and chalk up their violent tendencies to doing the right thing. When Jack Bauer jams a rusty nail up the nostril of a “terrorist” in the name of saving the United States, we merely nod contently, approving Bauer’s shady means of interrogation. He’s saving the world after all. If a goon cracks a bottle of champagne over Batman’s head while he’s fine dining in Gotham, Bats is going to respond by cracking a table over the goon’s head. Fair retort and we enjoy that. We probably wouldn’t be so quick to condone Bats waterboarding the guy back in the Bat Cave though. That’s not proportionate.
But the rule of proportionality doesn’t make for great multiplayer so I like that in this trailer for upcoming downloadable title Gotham City Impostors, there’s very little regard for it. Take for example, the scene at 0:48 in which one of the Joker’s impostors thieves a handbag. Rule of proportionality would condone giving chase, tackling the perp and maybe kicking him a couple of times when nobody’s looking. What does faux Batman do? Pumps the guy full of shotgun spit. My kind of rules.
The idea of a gaggle of amateur, lawless charlatans posing as Bats and the Joker, fighting it out in the streets of Gotham while Batman proper has his back turned is one with great potential and from the trailer it looks as though the dev is on track to deliver something quite wonderful.
Bastion found its way into the world last Wednesday, kick-starting Microsoft’s Summer of Arcade with some fizz. The launch trailer below does a pretty neat job of introducing each of the game’s life-affirmingly stupendous mechanics but there’s only so much you can condense into 100 seconds and Bastion is a game that just gets better and better and better the more time you spend with it.
So instead of writing anything else here I’m going to marvel at it some more. Later suckers.
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